"Home Is In The Air"

by Lori Ann Gonzales

 

I can’t stop thinking about them.  Everywhere I turn, I see their name.  I look to the left, and it’s shining on a streetlamp like a holiday decoration.  I look to the right, and across the road, plastered on a tall building, is the state name where they live.  I had to do a double-take to comprehend that one and a few others throughout our time apart.  It can be day or night, raining or shining; they are always lurking in the back of my mind.

Sometimes I think I hear them – speaking to me. In my head! Like they shrunk into this little, tiny person and start a conversation asking me questions in the present day. It’s never questions or discussions that include the past. Instead, it’s focused on the now and the future. Don’t get me wrong, there were times I heard a faint apology, even crying at one point. A few times, I doubled over in pain, and it was their face I was seeing in front of me. 

Meeting my deeply intertwined soul connection seemly has opened up an invisible door that I opened. One inside of me. In my heart. That’s not easy to do. It’s been closed for so long. I haven’t found many people I can trust. Sometimes I haven’t been sure if I can trust myself in making the right choices and decisions for me. It’s funny; my twin flame always seems to come through like a cross breeze in my thoughts when I decide. A nudge of confidence and trust consumes me when that happens. 

I have been making a lot of life decisions lately, particularly since the December star spectacular. I saw a glimpse of it, and it was magical. I call it the star of hope—a reminder to all that see it, good wins in the end. 

I kept thinking of my twin flame that day. Now I haven’t thought of them too often over the last year; I was pretty busy in my life. That day, I was standing in my closet singing and wondering where my favorite shirt was hanging, I heard a muffled voice in my head. I heard something a second time, so I stopped singing and searching to listen to it. 

Through a cascade of echoes of sound that flew in, a voice that sounded so familiar came through. I had to listen more intently. Closing my eyes, I pulled my slightly forward; I found I could hear it loud and clear. I asked who was speaking to me, and I listened to the name gently go in one ear and stay in the middle of my head. I could feel it, who was with me, and I listened. 

The conversation was a bit one-sided, and for some reason, it just stopped. Fading in and out has happened many times, but this time was different. It wasn’t a disconnection or a feeling of separation. It was a feeling that we will be meeting soon. Instantly, the feeling of being home flew in. I could feel warmth blow across my body like a small sandstorm! When I opened my eyes, I knew the day is coming. 

A form of judgment day – the moment of truth is on the way. When that day arrives, it wasn’t shown. Even if it had been, with my twisted twin flame journey comes messages, puzzles, and riddles that lead me to see things in my own life. Although I have always seen others and the world differently, this journey is one that will knock me to my knees. 

I looked at my shirts hanging on the top bar as if it was my twin hanging there. I even giggled when I realized I saw an illusion. The words I heard were real. So, I began to meditate to keep the negative thinking from seeping in—the low vibrational energy dragging me into the brink of a new mental dungeon. I’ve been there and have no need to give that a go again. 

When I feel “home” is around me, I know something good is coming in. Home comes with the scent of fresh-baked cookies and a hint of cinnamon that lingers with it. That’s what home is to me, sweet memories of the beauty in life. 

Far or wide, from miles apart, my twin flame always reminds me of what home, love, and life truly mean for me. No more masks or cloaks. No more games or word manipulations. When I hear that soft-spoken voice - At that moment, I smell the sugary side of life and know home is in the air.